Moldy fruit

How is it I start the day strong and by the end I feel so drained, underappreciated,  unhappy, discontent and so on?

I hate this feeling. I feel alone. Distanced. I have an incling I might without knowing the moment I am doing it, be pushing away the ones I love so much. Placing my displeasure on the shoulders of the nearest target. Granted I might have reason to be irritated, but is this attitude really pleasing me at all? Or how about God?

I am sorry for being mean and yelling. Unkind, unpleasant. Pretty much being a moldy basket of spoiled fruit not of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-23(HCSB)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Yeah, I was so not that as I yelled at my husband tonight.

I keep trying to remember I truly need to work on my own attitude and relationship with God, and let God work on my husband. Though I seem to take on more tasks then I should, the task of changing my husband is not mine to claim. My own attitude and disposition on the other hand is. Praying for my husband is.

I love this man and to truly respect him I shouldn't be tearing him apart. I should be building him up. Though his small attempts to help me in the moment seem trivial to me and like a weak attempt to avoid more strenuous work, I can't see his heart or intention. It is wrong of me to lash out. I need to be more appreciative and consider the thought maybe he is really stepping outside his comfort zone. What seems small and meager to me could be him feeling he is going the distance.

Lord thank You for Your love and grace. Thank you for not lashing out at me and treating me the way I have treated my husband. Please transform my heart to be like Yours. Help me bless my husband.  Give my husband strength in all he needs to do. Thank you for your unfailing,  neverstopping, forgiving, graceful love. In Jesus name,  amen.